I was deeply touched by 'My Beloved'. I was struck by the sincerity of the author as he described his youth and his grappling to deal with with what Jesus taught in contrast to what the world valued. This was writing that was doctrinally profound and also real practically, unashamed to proclaim its love of Jesus, and giving proof of sincerity through the author's struggles to honor our Lord which was reciprocated by our Lord in being given ever increasing light . We have nothing to be afraid of by being honest, "for perfect love casts out fear", "grace does much more abound" and "the path of the righteous is as the dawning light,
I personally have spent my teenage years and 20’s seeking comfort in women. I have battled with lust which included pornography and related things. I became a Christian in my early 20s and little changed except that I did not actively date any women and prayed that God would send the right one into my life at the right time. The guilt of dealing with these issues was crushing and debilitating at times. Once I became a Christian I desired an intimate relationship with a Godly woman. Little did I know the very thing I wanted I was actually sabotaging.