The video explains well many aspects of the Identity War message. Please watch it first:
What do you do to make yourself feel valuable when your world – as you know it – falls apart around you? Today, Paulina Porizkova, is advocating for her new source of value: fighting ageism. But reshaping a society built around looks, performance and powerful positions seems like a terribly far reach, particularly the specific change Paulina wants: that old women be seen as sexually attractive as young women. The former face of Estee Lauder is unknowingly warring against the core values of our God-less society; a society based upon possessing, attaining, achieving, competing, and appearing attractive.
In this video we see an explanation by Porizkova of why she is so hurt to be ignored by men in her older age. When she was young, “Everybody loved me” [in the 80’s], when she was the world’s top paid model. The emotional injury that she sustained when her parents left her in foster care by her grandmother when she was 3, never healed. She had the thought deep down that: “I am not that great and as soon as you find out how not great I am you will also leave me”. Being a successful model wasn’t enough to make her feel secure. She married the former lead singer of The Cars at 19, when he was 40. “Being with a man that fully possessed me was comforting,” she says. But her fear that her marriage wouldn’t work out because she felt that she actually wasn’t valuable happened.
Shortly after his passing, she discovered that his will stated: “I will not provide for my wife, because she abandoned me”. She was caring for him while he was recovering from surgery. They were still married, filing for divorce, and still living under the same roof. When asked why she never left their home, she responded: “I could not imagine life without the one I grew up with”. She had married him so young…
Her husband, being her savior in her own estimation, felt the same empty feelings of abandonment, resulting in a painful legacy after he passed. The NY State law came to the rescue to ensure his wife got what was legally hers. This has massively complicated her grieving process. “I want to miss him for who he was, but that is so hard.” Still feeling the sting of abandonment and in search for love, she took on the campaign of advocating for older women who are no longer attractive to younger men.
She is currently living in the apartment next to her original apartment where she first started her journey in NY State as a model. “It’s like a perfect full circle and like I have come back to the other side of the wall of where I started”. She spent the last 3 years seeking love and seeking to understand herself better.
We don’t want to judge the difficult life this woman has had, but rather learn from it – that the identity war is very, very real – for all of us. Sometimes we may think we may have it under control, but if we have not really gained victory through knowing we are sons and daughters of God eventually when our performance fails we will find ourselves feeling empty, like Porizkova. That is why for our ministry, the book Identity Wars is the foundation so that we could grow securely in learning of our Father and walking in this life.
The Word of God is a light on our dark path on earth here. Let us seek to understand and know “the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” (John 17:3). To love someone requires that you know them. We cannot fathom how a God, personally and intimately involved in our lives can know us and not condemn us for our faults and weaknesses(John 5:22), and that He does not control us and restrict our freedoms. This tender and gentle God, who the Bible refers to as our Father has brought Porizkova full circle, and “has plans to prosper [her] and not to harm [her], plans to give [her] hope and a future” (Jer.29:11). And despite her incorrect understanding of true love and what makes her valuable, God regards her as His Beloved Daughter in whom He is well pleased (Mat 3:17). I pray she finds her true calling in educating others about their value as sons and daughters of their Heavenly Father.